July 10, 2010

Baby Let Me Break You Down

We grow up pretty deluded.
We grow up thinking our parents are perfect. In fact, it wouldn't be entirely untrue to say that we're brought up to think that our parents are perfect. Not by the parents, but by societal norms. Perhaps we interpret the immense respect that is expected out of us for parents in such a way that we think they can make no mistake.

But we are wrong. NOT because the parents actually commit any mistake or anything, but because we blame them. When we are at a stage where we're not quite independent, yet not completely dependent, we tend to blame our parents. But what most of us fail to realize is that parents are never unfair, they're not mistaken, they don't hate us and they definitely don't shout at us to make us feel bad about ourselves. We forget that they are humans. That they are as open to making errors in their parenting as we are in any other aspect of life. While we may be new to life itself, they're new to parenting. And they can make mistakes. But to punish them for parenting us? That's just wrong. I see teenagers getting impatient with their parents, hating on them because they're pressurized by their folks. But what the kids don't realize is that their parents pressurize them because they want to protect their kids.

I mentioned a while back that parents often protect their children when what they most need is support. So yeah, they made a mistake, so what-- don't you?! Forgive them for it! They made it because they love you so much! Stop doubting your parents because they're the 2 souls in life that will love you regardless.

I know they say things that really hit home, that hurt in those dark, wounded corners of your heart that you lay hidden deep underneath it all. But every time that happens, take a deep breath and stop to think for a second. Exactly why are they saying those things? Do they hate you? They'd probably have aborted you if they did. Do they say those things to intentionally to hurt you? I think not. See if that were the case, they'd probably be spending all that hard-earned money on their retirement and not on your marriages and college education, and buying you those blackberrys and those ipods.
They say those things because they WANT to hit home. THEY WANT TO HIT HOME so that they can motivate you to change yourself. They put themselves in a bad position just to change your life for the better. So don't hate them for it.

They may say things that are seemingly so insensitive that you cripple from the shock of it. But forgive them for it. Because they say it ONLY to make you a better person.

Love your parents, and cherish them, before it's too late. Don't cuss them, don't hurt them, and don't retort back when they shout at you. When you were a kid, you'd whine, and you'd weep and you'd cry and you'd complain, you would even nag them. But they were patient. They bore you with love, and hugs and kisses, and bought you whatever they could afford to buy for you.

When they grow old, they become just like little kids. They nag, they whine and they complain. Accept them with open arms, and be patient with them.

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind
to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to
them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.
And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord!
Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.

Al Qur'an, (17:23)


Roshni said...

Its just the transition of us growing up that can lead to misunderstandings between children and parents..... with that said, thankyou for the awesome reminder Afz =P

BoogieMonsterMan said...

Aww np :)
Thx for reading!

secret.whispers said...

spending money on your kids doesn't make you a good parent! just because you provide your kid with all the materialistic crap in life doesn't mean that they should worship you (metaphorically, i mean..)
that being said, of course parents are supposed to be on the top of your priorities. they raised you and whatnot, they should get the due respect. but what about the kids who have mentally/emotionally abusive parents? the ones who abuse their kids because of some weird sort of pleasure or sense of control it gives them?
parents make mistakes? of course they do. they're human. but what if they make a mistake (unintentionally or not) that ruins their kid's personality AND their life?

ozzie said...

I would have a lot to say on this subject- I may not get much typed out, but I have to say that it has been a wavering thought in my head.

Parents do look out for their kids overall, but it's the little things, during the formative years, that have an impact.

I will use myself as an example since I have only learned of much of my family history in the past 2 weeks.

One of my half-brothers is here for a few days as he moves to another job.

We had never really talked before, but since I am older now, I can have a conversation with him (he was there when my dad used to hit my mom which I did not know and he was there when he was much worse a person than what I know of him- my dad).

I remember plenty of beatings from my dad- some so bad that I had my friends call the police to help me and some even worse than that, of which nobody knew anything about.

It turns out things were much worse as I grew up (my older half-brother told me about what happened)- I guess it's a good thing I don't remember.

Point is- Forgiveness is probably the biggest obstacle for people. People are full of sin, but our actions define who we are. We will all be judged on how we treat our fellow man. Don't lose focus and love your fellow man like you love yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is probably the best motto to have ever been spoken.