You see, there's something remarkably dorky about us freshmans that makes our seniors want to smack their lips and cry out "AHA! FRESH MEAT!" , Trunchbull style. Whether it's the lost expression or the socially awkward behaviour of a freshly-pubescent kid, trust you me we're the easiest category of the human race to discern in large crowds on campus.
Below is a list of traits that will help you locate a freshman in a jiffy.
1. The walk-reverse-walk: Who knows this better than I do? Thinking you're going in NAB* when you're actually headed to SBM*. "Oh wait, that was NAB. NO WAIT IT WAS SBM!"
2. The inexplicable yet omnipresent expression: Yes folks, this is THE EXPRESSION. It's a cross-over between being utterly fascinated by the magnificent campus in front of you, and the sheer confusion of where to go next. Physically, it translates to wide eye-balls, a crap-load of lip-biting and a LOT, and I mean A LOT of head turns (to peep at the signboards on the buildings, ofcourse!)
3. Seen one freshman appear every 10 minutes on the same spot, 5 times already? That's the noobest of the noobs! Seriously, though, whenever you do come across this person, please go up to them and help them out, because if it wasn't enough to have to carry around your Eco 201 textbook in the scorching heat, running around the ginormous campus really, really hurts.
4. The elevator genius: Oh wait, that would be me. You see, the elevator in the student center has just one button pointing downwards. HOW ON EARTH IS IT POSSIBLE THAT IT GOES UP TO THE 1st FLOOR?!
So the next time you spot someone on a wild goose-chase running in and out of the student center and the door next to the lift, kindly do us a favour and tell us it does go up. Aside from laughing hysterically, ofcourse.
5. Classroom habits: See someone taking out all their notebooks and stationery and arranging them in a neat pile? Do they have a small homework diary next to them? Or worse, are they writing in the student planner? That's your fresshie!
6. "Miss, can I please use the toilet?" Enough said.
7. When you see students running to their respective classes 20 minutes before class:
You'd think it makes sense to walk from the library to LAN* 10 minutes before. Oh no no no! Fresshies really don't wanna be that late. Or die from shortness of breath.
8. When someone's Facebook status or Tweets all revolve around how much work they have to do.
9. When you spot someone decked out in the latest trends, KNOW that it's a freshman. It's only until the first few semesters that this continues. *Fast forward to a year later* Jeans and teeshirt are your bestfriends while you might've lost a pencil in that mane--either you catch up on the sleep, or get extra revision time! Fashion can wait.
10. When you see someone waiting for the elevator, rooted in the same spot for 15 minutes. Not until you're done with a month or so of classes will you realize your safest option to avoid being late is to take the stairs.
Now that I have revealed upon you these words of wisdom illustrating how to discern thy fellow disciples, it is my sincere hope that they be assisted by you in whatever feat they set to accomplish.
OMG WHAT IF THEY END UP BEING RAGGED?!
*NAB= New Academic Building connected to (see below)
*SBM= School of Business Management
*LAN= Language Building
Attached below is a map to enable you to understand better what I mean.