This Is The End Result of Literary Catharsis!

Analyse, analyse, analyse! It's all about being anally retentive and analysing every bit of 'Twelfth Night'. Appreciation for the literary device, the language and psychoanalysis of the characters, their tone, the effects they create on the audience.

Shakespeare na? Khwar tha.* He had too much time on his hands. Bas depth ke peeche faut tha. Seedha seedha likhdeta, nai! DEPTH HAR CHEEZ MEIN!*
Literary devices, overcomplicating things, and calloused fingers ._. HMPH!

You want me to analyse? I'll analyse!

Orsino? He's a dumbfuck. Apne hi nakhron mein chour hai!* He NEEDS to go get laid, get some and STOP wallowing and whining so much! Always whinging, complaining. He's like a little kid who stomps his feet when he doesn't get something. Poor dimwit is in COMPLETE denial that Olivia is a lesbian who wants a piece of Viola/Cesario tranny's bum.
It's evident in lines 14-15 of Act 1, Scene 1 that Orsino is an underdeveloped personality with the emotional depth of a soap dish, when he says "So full of shapes is fancy, that it alone is highly fantastical!'
HE SAID IT HIMSELF PEOPLE! HE SAID IT HIMSELF! HE'S IMAGINING THINGS! He's a luuuuunaaaaaaatic!
Let me spell it out for you, L-U-N-A-T-I-C!

Olivia? Dumb bitch. Two-faced, veil-flipping, "fair cruelty", a lot like the "queen bee" of Illyria. Her vanity deludes her to the extent that she actually thinks she's beautiful enough to have to be screened from men! HA!

What if she lifts the veil and OMGHEARTATTACK!

Next day in the headlines? "MYSTERY MASS DEATH of LITERARY SPECTATORS!"

It can be concluded from lines 257-278 of Act 1, Scene 5, that Olivia is a drag-queen/lesbian fantasizing, greedy lass,
Who wants a piece of Viola/ [drag-name: Cesario]'s ass!
OH LOOK! ITS A COUPLET! Shakespeare style! Rhyming towards the end! *clap clap clap*

Proof of this comes from lines 237-243 and 261-262 of Act 1, Scene 5.
This is where the theme of homo eroticism subtly lingers in. Another homo-couple in 'Twelfth Night' are introduced to us; Sebastian and Antonio, the former being drowned in his love for his lost sister [alluded to Bollywood cinema, elaborated later on in the essay], and the latter pining for some gay love with Sebastian.
Further analysis at this point in time cannot be conducted as the characters are deemed much too pathetic, boring & douche bags for the play.

Malvolio is rightfully described in Act 1, Scene 5, line 279, "What ho, Malvolio!"
The pompous foo' is cynical and happiness-constipated throughout the play, often acting as Olivia's lapdog, [evidence, line 67-6, Act 1 Scene 5] throwing out Sir Toby and Sir Andrew [see below] when the time calls, or even disciplining Maria when need be. Poor neo-Puritan believes he has sex-appeal enough with that shiny bald head and grey boundary walls, to attract Olivia to him.

Sir Toby and Sir Andrew are two knights living their entire existence in drunken stupors. They'd make Jack Sparrow or Poe seem sober.


Sir Toby has quite the beer-belly and in the later scenes, adopts lustful flirtation with Maria, the barren-yet-lusting lady-in-waiting for Olivia.
Sir Andrew is tall, thin and downright stupid. Pretty downgraded on his neck-top. Quite the gullible bastard he is, as is apparent in lines 165-169 of Act 2, Scene 4, where Sir Toby, who's a smart pig, is using Sir Toby for an all-expenses-paid-life!

Maria, Olivia's menopausal-hitting-lusting-for-Toby-coy-bollywood-style-Aunty needs some, and soon. She keeps suggesting sexual-innuendos on her first meeting with Sir Toby and Sir Andrew. As the plot unravels, we will read about their futile pro-creation attempts.

And last but not the least, Feste the jester, a licensed fool for the dumb bitch, & the smartest bastard in the play! Quick-witted, cunning and sly, his dialogues stir quite some shit up amongst the audience. An example of his brilliance is depicted in lines 33-64, Act 1, Scene 5 when upon commanding the attendants to take the fool away. dumb bitch is proved quite the fool. Extract shall provide the relevant lines for easier comprehension.

Feste
Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling!
Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft
prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may
pass for a wise man: for what says Quinapalus?
'Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.'

Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO

Feste
God bless thee, lady!

OLIVIA
Take the fool away.

Feste
Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.

OLIVIA
Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you:
besides, you grow dishonest.

Feste
Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel
will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is
the fool not dry: bid the dishonest man mend
himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if
he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing
that's mended is but patched: virtue that
transgresses is but patched with sin; and sin that
amends is but patched with virtue. If that this
simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not,
what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but
calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take
away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.

OLIVIA
Sir, I bade them take away you.

Feste
Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus non
facit monachum; that's as much to say as I wear not
motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to
prove you a fool.

OLIVIA
Can you do it?

Feste
Dexterously, good madonna.

OLIVIA
Make your proof.

Feste
I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse
of virtue, answer me.

OLIVIA
Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.

Feste
Good madonna, why mournest thou?

OLIVIA
Good fool, for my brother's death.

Feste
I think his soul is in hell, madonna.

OLIVIA
I know his soul is in heaven, fool.

Feste
The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's
soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.

It can be ascertained from Shakespeare's use of language in various parts of the play, that he is gangsta, fo' real! Line 279 of Act 1, Scene 5, by the dumb bitch herself "What ho, Malvolio!" and "I'm the man!" [line 24, Act 2, Scene 2 by the tranny].

Elements of Bollywood-style drama are also prevalent in the play, for e.g. the reoccurring "drowning in love/drowned in tears" theme. Another being Malvolio's dialogue, "One would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him", which can be alluded to stereotypical old-school Indian cinema. Another instance of [of the many contained in the play]Bollywood-cinema alive and thriving in Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night' is when dumb bitch rushes to put her veil on as soon as she hears a young man arriving at her door, i.e. line 154-155 of Act 2, Scene 2.

To conclude, the theme of love, lust, comedy, deception are central to the 'Twelfth Night' and homo eroticism is also subtly hinted. Shakespeare has used various useless, crappy but excessive literary devices that are of little importance to the 21st Century readers. They create the effect of over-complicating petty dialogues, and tongue-twisters during reading sessions.

*Shakespeare was jobless.
*He was killing himself over esoteric literature. He could've just written in simple words what he meant, but NUUUUU!Everything had to be arcane!
* Mulling over his woes!




Disclaimer: Please note, I thoroughly enjoy my Literature lessons and I appreciate and admire Shakespeare's work. I personally read Twelfth Night as a leisure-time activity. He was no doubt a literary genius. So please do not come up to me and tell me I suck 'cause I don't get it or that I do not appreciate beautiful literature. This was, as the title suggest, a silly idea born out of frustration that popped up in my head after a B/C grade in a class-assessment task.


Apologies if this was rude or offensive to anyone on any level.

Tagged

So, I was tagged by this talented lady over here, and I shall do what it requires:-

The Rules are:
[copied and pasted!]

~ Link to the Blogger who tagged you.
~ In your blog, post The Rules and...
~ Six quirky but unspectacular factoids about yourself
~ Tag six other bloggers by linking to them
~ Go to each person's blog, and leave a comment that lets them know they've been tagged.
My own rule~ Let me know you've done this tagged post too!


1. Whenever I don't like someone, I imagine what's the worse that can happen, and I don't do it the normal way, I LITERALLY imagine us having a catfight or something totally extreme, and the thought often ends either one of us being in prison.

2. I MUST do the traditional air-blow-from-mouth after reciting a Du'a, otherwise I feel my Du'a isn't completed.

3. I can write English words and letters, mirrored. Like it's from left to write, I can write it right to left.

4. I can write with my right hand (sanely) on the blackboard, but not on the whiteboard or on paper.

5. I love singing along with the song, so much so that if the song isn't in sync with me, I will keep on rewinding it till we're exactly on the same word, heck even syllable!

6. I cannot stop shaking my left leg.

I tag:- Braceface XD, Homer, Enchanted, Rabia, Ry, Angel.

Hijab/Modesty

Well today me and my brother got in this debate over the Hijab. He overheard me talking to my mother about it. He made me realize something that I very much needed to acknowledge. I had stopped wearing the Hijab in between, because I was not sure WHY I was wearing it. I sort of wanted to know the real meaning and the need behind Hijab. I very badly wanted to wear it, but Satan always somehow succeeded in leading me away from the Right Path. My brother told me a lot of times that even if you wear modest clothes, it's perfectly alright not to wear the Hijab. Although he being a guy wouldn't know the consequences and the problems we women face when we DON'T wear the Hijab. He said that Hijab is a symbol for modesty, and there is much more to Hijab then just covering your hair or your body. His intention was not to restrict women from wearing Hijab, but because he wanted them to KNOW and REALIZE the reasons for this Hijab.
It was past me to understand, and took quite a few heated arguments for his point to come across. He gave me examples :
A girl wears a Hijab, and is doing all sorts of other immodest activities, for example flirting with boys or drinking alcohol. This is not modest and it is unIslamic. Or she uses crude and vulgar language, is inimical towards people, shows resentment towards them when they ask for help. Hijab promotes modesty, humbleness, humility, piety, kindness. A behaviour of a woman comes under the limits of Hijab. I never realized this and I used to be profane and not really care about it. Although Elhumdulillah, my parents brought me up to be quite sensitive and careful about others' feelings, I still had a few bad qualities in me, which thankfully to my brother, I'm trying to improve. It does not mean that you stop living your life, no. It doesn't mean that when you go out with friends you stay still and stiff and a goody-two-shoes. NO! Not at all! Go ahead laugh, have fun, be crazy, hyper, but do not act in ways that attract unnecessary attention, Do not show-off, do not act in a way so that people notice you or others notice you, and generally be plainly annoyingly conspicious. Through the Hijab, God leads and wants us to observe and acquire the qualities of a good Muslim. For example, noble,humble,helpful,honest,truthful,trustworthy,caring,pious,etc. We should not speak in a way that hurts others, or with hostility. We should respect their beliefs and opinions, and set forth examples of a good human being with our character. We should try to influence people with our skills and our modesty. The main purpose of a Hijab is not ONLY to guard the beauty of a woman, but to promote modesty in behaviour, words, actions, lifestyle, etc.
So bottom line, if you're gonna wanna have to cover your hair and body, and then have boyfriends, cheat, lie, steal, be profane, hostile, cold, etc towards people, THE HIJAB might be accepted by Allah and may you be rewarded for it, but then there is no point. Because if you're doing all the other things labelled Haraam or forbidden by God, you might as well not cover at all. Why bother? Such juvenile acts will only lead to the names of Muslims being wrecked all over the world, and you will be setting bad examples for others. By influencing others with our good qualities, we are working towards a better environment for us and for others to live in.